Astronaut Booty Call - Thruster

My thruster is firing as we speak!

10 Signs Your Broker

1. Was Affected by the Stock Market Crash "He can't come to the phone right now... he's on the ledge."
2. "He won't be in today... he was made an offer and he refused."
3. "He left the building and not via the elevator... if you catch my drift."
4. "I'm sorry, sir... she's not in... she's out digging up your can as we speak."
5. There's a sign on her desk that says "Next Broker Please."
6. "He's on another line with his Mommy... would you care to hold?"
7. "No sir, that wasn't him streaking through the Stock Exchange."
8. "He's meeting with the SEC as we speak."
9. "I'm sorry, ma'am but that was him being led from the Stock Exchange naked except for the sale tickets stuck to his body via maple syrup."
10. "Yes sir, that is him in the White Bronco leading the cops down the freeway."

A Dead Ringer

The Hunchback of Notre Dame croaks so they need to find a new bell-ringer. A guy with no arms comes along and says he can do it. "But you've got no arms... you can't do this job!" says the church leader. The new applicant shouts back - "Sure I can... I'll do it with my mouth!" So the church hires him and he starts his bell-ringing duties the next day. He begins ringing the bell using only his mouth, but the bell is so heavy, it tosses him out the window to the ground and splatters him dead. He's lying dead on the ground and a big crowd gathers around him. "Who is that guy?" one person says. "I don't know says another, but his face sure rings a bell..."