Profession Jokes

The Six-Pack

Three guys were working on a high rise building project: Steve, Bill and Charlie. Steve falls off the high rise and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Charlie says, "Someone should go and tell his wife."
Bill says, "OK, I`m pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I`ll do it."
2 hours later, he comes back carrying a 6-pack. Charlie says, "Where did you get that, Bill?"
"Steve`s wife gave it to me."
"That`s unbelievable," Charlie says "You told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you the beer?"
Bill says,"Well not exactly. When she answered the door, I said to her, `You must be Steve`s widow.`
She said, `No, I`m not a widow.'
And I said, 'Wanna bet me a six-pack?'"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Biggest Liar

Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room. The teacher says, "Why are you arguing?" One boy answers, "We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie." "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher, "When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was!" The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Another Breathalyzer

A cop stops a blonde woman who was driving down a motorway. "Miss, may I see your driver's licence please?" "Driver's licence? What's that?" "It's a little card with your picture on it." "Oh, duh!  Here it is." "May I have your car insurance?" "What's that?" "It's a document that says you are allowed to drive the car." "Oh this? Duh!  Here you go" The cop then takes his dick out of his pants, while the blonde exclaims: "Oh no, not another breathalyzer test!"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous