Good, Bad, Worse

Good: Your children are sexually active.
Bad: With each other.
Worse: And your wife.
Good: Hot outdoor sex.
Bad: Getting arrested.
Worse: By your husband.
Good: The teacher likes your son.
Bad: Sexually.
Worse: The teacher is a he.
Good: You go home for a quickie.
Bad: You get caught by your wife
Worse: You're with her sister.

Light Bulb - Journalists

Q: How many journalists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to report it as an inspired government program to bring light to the people, one to report it as a diabolical government plot to deprive the poor of darkness, and one to win a pulitzer prize for reporting that Electric Company hired a lightbulb assassin to break the bulb in the first place.

Dowsing Dalmation

Q: Why do firemen bring a Dalmatian with them when they go to a fire?
A: To help them find the fire hydrant.