Driver's Test

3 friends, Bill, Paul and Tom, get pulled over for speeding. The officer is a very attractive lady, who slowly walks up to the window. After she asks for the Paul - the driver's - licence, he says, "Look, I can't afford this ticket, is there any way I could get you to tear it up?" The officer thinks for a moment and replies, "Okay, I'll tell you what... all of you guys show me your cocks, and if their total length is at least 21 inches you can go free." So Paul takes his out: 10 inches. Bill takes his out: also 10 inches. Tom takes his out: 1 inch making the total exactly 21 inches. The officer holds up her end of the deal, and leaves. After she's gone, Tom sighs and says, "Wow, it's a good thing I had a boner!"

Librarian GPS

OLD LIBRARIANS never die, they just lose their references.

Mr. Schneider in Court.

Mr. Schneider stood up in court. "As God is my judge, I do not owe my ex-wife any money".  Glaring down at him, the judge replied, "He's not. I am. You do."