Notice of a Class Action Suit

I was wondering if anyone else is having a problem with the Carbon Based Unit, Model # Homo Sapiens. The following is a list of constant problems:

• A constant whining whenever the brain disengages after debating the virtues of the automobile selection process
• Overheats when the air/gray matter ratio exceeds rational equilibrium in regard to ones own responsibility to auto maintenance
• When mouth is placed in gear, makes loud noise whilst insulting the the auto professional. (see previous item)
• Software controlling the "computer" is defective... Wild, random responses to input stimuli (i.e. "Have you checked the oil..?")
• Motor controls are sluggish (i.e. response to traffic light stimuli and expected law abiding response)
• Mouth continues to run long after brain has shut off
• Touts superior performance, but functions do not perform as advertised
• Lifetime warranty is a misnomer. Cannot get problems fixed under any policy
• Model not eligible for trade in or replacement under Lemon Law 

I have attempted to contact the manufacturer of this model regarding these issues, but I have received no response. I can only assume that this creator does not stand by the product in question. Therefore, I am directing my attorney to file a Class Action suit on behalf of myself and my family. The basis for this suit is that the manufacturer did knowingly produce a defective product. Interested parties make contact my attorney: U. B. Taken1-800-Get-Awayor write: 7734 Geton Withit Ave.Getalife, Hades 12345-678

Plenty Where I Come From

A Frenchman, an Englishman, an American man, and a lawyer were sitting on a train. The Frenchman offered everyone some of his baguette, then threw it out the window, saying, "Don't worry - we have plenty of those where I come from." The Englishman offered everyone a crumpet, then threw the rest out of the window, saying, "Don't worry - we have plenty of those where I come from." Then the American threw the lawyer out the window, saying...

Fishing For Frenchies

Q: What do you call 20 French politicians face down in the Channel?
A: A start.