Eco Mow

Q: Why do dairy farmers never have to cut the grass?
A: Because they have plenty of 'lawn-mooers.'

Additional Business One Liners

• A stagnant science is at a standstill.
• A theory is better than its explanation.
• A transistor protected by a fast-acting fuse will protect the fuse by blowing first.
• A well-adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without getting nervous.
• Ability is a good thing but stability is even better.
• Ability is like a check, it has no value unless it is cashed.
• Absolutum obsoletum. (If it works, it is out of date.)
• According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.
• According to the official figures, 43% of all statistics are totally worthless.
• Adding manpower to a late software product makes it later.

Cross-eyed Cow Fix

One day, a farmer was tending to his livestock when he noticed that one of his cows was completely cross-eyed. He called up a veterinarian friend of his who told him to bring in his cow. The vet took one look at the cow, stuck a tube up the cow's butt, and blew into the tube until the cow's eyes straightened out. The vet charged the farmer a hundred bucks, and the farmer went home happy. About a week later, the cow's eyes were cross-eyed again, but this time the farmer figured he could probably take care of it himself. So he called his hired hand over, and together they put a tube up the cow's butt. The farmer put his lips to the tube and started to blow. Strangely, nothing happened, so he asked his hired hand to give it a try. The hired hand removed the tube, turned it around, put it in the cow's butt and started to blow. "What are you doing?" asked the farmer, horrified. "Well, I wasn't gonna use the side that YOU had put your lips on."