Lawyer Out of Surgery

There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said "You're cute!" Well, the wife was disappointed because instead of 'beautiful' it was 'cute.' She said "What happened to 'beautiful?" His reply was "The drugs are wearing off!"

Light Bulb - Cops

Q: How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one, but he is never around when you need him.

Solving a problem

A guy goes to a psychiatrist. "Doc, I keep having these alternating, recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam; then I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?" The doctor replies: "It's very simple. You're two tents."