Truck Driver

A trucker stopped at a local Denny's restaurant and placed his order. He said, "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards." The new blonde waitress didn't want to appear stupid so she went to the kitchen and asked the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think this place is... an auto parts store?" "No," the cook said. "Three flat tires mean three pancakes, a pair of headlights is  for two eggs sunny side up, and running boards are two slices of crisp bacon." It's a special trucker version of our 'Grand Slam Breakfast'. "Oh, Okay." said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer. The trucker asked, "What are the beans for, Blondie?" She replied, "I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!!"

The Right Stuff

I was in a job interview for a sales position and the manager handed me his laptop and said, "I want you to try and sell this to me."
So I put it under my arm, walked out of the building and went home. An hour later he called me and said, "Bring it back here right now!"
I said, "$250 and it's yours."

The Best Profession to Operate On

Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work.
The first surgeon said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. Everything inside is numbered."
"I think librarians are the easiest," said the second surgeon. "When you open them up all their organs are alphabetically ordered."
The third surgeon said, "I prefer to operate on electricians. All their organs are color coded."
The fourth one said, "I like to operate on lawyers. They are heartless, spineless, gutless, and their head and their ass are interchangeable."