Profession Jokes

Lawyers and Lightbulbs

Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Four: one to climb the ladder, one to hold the ladder, one to shake the ladder and one to sue the ladder company.

Categories: Light Bulb Jokes , Riddles , Profession Jokes (Lawyer Jokes)
Anonymous

Holy Car Accident

A rabbi and a priest were driving one day and by a freak accident have a head-on collision with tremendous force. Both cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of the holy men are injured.
After they crawl out of their cars, the rabbi sees the priest's collar and says, "So you're a priest. I'm a rabbi. Just look at our cars. There is nothing left, yet we are here, unhurt. This must be a sign from God!" Pointing to the sky, he continues, "God must have meant that we should meet and share our lives in peace and friendship for the rest of our days on earth."
The priest replies, "I agree with you completely. This must surely be a sign from God!"
The rabbi is looking at his car and exclaims, "And look at this! Here's another miracle! My car is completely demolished, but this bottle of wine I was carrying did not break. Surely, God wants us to drink this wine and to celebrate our good fortune."
The priest nods in agreement. The rabbi hands the bottle to the priest, who drinks half the bottle and hands the bottle back to the rabbi. The rabbi takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap on, then hands it back to the priest.
The priest, baffled, asks, "Aren't you having any, Rabbi?"
The rabbi replies, "Nah... I think I'll wait for the police."

Categories: Religion Jokes (Nun / Priest Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Jewish Jokes) , Alcohol Jokes (Wine Jokes) , Profession Jokes (Police Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Easy Specimens

An old man goes to the doctor. The doctor asks for stool, urine, blood, and semen samples. The old man can't believe it. He takes all his little sample jars and goes home. At home, he tells his wife that the doctor wants stool, urine, blood, and semen samples.The wife looks aghast and then realization spreads like the dawn across her wrinkled facial features.
"That's easy," she says, relief obvious in her voice. "All he wants is your pajama pants!"

Categories: Old Age Jokes , Profession Jokes (Other Doctor Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous