Lawyer Naming His Daughter

Q: What did a lawyer name his daughter?
A: Sue!

Admin Harris

The admin, Ms. Harris,  came in late for work the third day in a row.  The boss called her into his office and said, "Now look, Ms. Harris, I know we had a wild fling for a while, but that's over. I expect you to conduct yourself like any other employee around here."  The boss pressed on, " Who told you you could come and go as you please around here?" Ms. Harris simply smiled, lit up a cigarette, and while exhaling said, "My lawyer."

Engineer and Guillotine

Today they're leading a priest, a drunkard and an engineer to the guillotine. They ask the priest if he wants to face up or down when he meets his fate. The priest says that he would like to face up so he will be looking toward heaven when he dies. They raise the blade of the guillotine, release it, it comes speeding down and suddenly stops just inches from his neck. The authorities take this as divine intervention and release the priest. Next the drunkard comes to the guillotine. He also decides to die face up hoping that he will be as fortunate as the priest. They raise the blade of the guillotine, release it, it comes speeding down and suddenly stops just inches from his neck. So they release the drunkard as well. The engineer is next. He too decides to die facing up. They slowly raise the blade of the guillotine, when suddenly the engineer says: Hey, I see what your problem is!