Trouble Swallowing

Mother: What seems to be the problem with you? You have been married three years and still no children. I had hopes of being a grandmother by now.
Daughter: I just don't know, Mom! Billy tries all the time, it's just that I have a lot of trouble swallowing.

Auditions Galore

My friend got a dozen auditions for movies in the last week. I asked him how and all he could say was, "It's this new medication." He never told me what it was, but I could safely assume that it was a fast acting drug.

Rubber Broke

Two young girls were talking about their sex lives when the first girl says, "Oh my god! , it was really great, but I was soo scared after his rubber broke. I didn't get a good night's sleep for a week." "What happened?!" Says her intrigued friend. "I didn't know what I was going to do, but I was finally able to get the last little piece of it out with dental floss."