Al Gore Quotes

• "We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
• "The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
• "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
• "I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."
   

Blonde Drives Stick

Q: How can you tell if a blonde was trying to drive stick?
A: There's a condom on the gear shift.

English, Scottish, and Irish Desert

An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are wandering through the desert, hungry and hallucinating, when they come upon a rotting, dead camel. "Well," said the Englishman, "I support the Liverpool football club, so I'll eat the liver." "I support the Hearts club," said the Scotsman, "so I'll eat the heart." "I support Arsenal," said the Irishman, "but I seem to have lost my appetite."