How to Cook Toilet Paper

Q: Do you know how to cook toilet paper?
A: Brown it on one side and throw it in the pot!

Breaking Frodo

Q: In "Fellowship of the Rings," what did Sauron say to Frodo?
A   "You're a hard hobbit to break!"

Greek tailor.

An Ancient Greek man walks into a tailor and holds up a torn tunic.
TAYLOR: "Euripides?" (You-rip-e-dees)
MAN: "Eumenedes??" (You-men-e-dees)(Say it quickly, it works!)