The Ram

Q: Why did the ram fall over the cliff?
A: He didn't see the ewe turn!

Dr. Phil Says Inner Peace

By following the simple advice I heard on a Dr. Phil Show, I have finally found inner peace. Dr. Phil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I started and hadn't finished;
and, before leaving the house this morning I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a package of Oreo's, a pot of coffee, the rest of the Cheesecake, some Saltines and a box of Godiva Chocolates. Dr. Phil was right... you have no idea how I feel right now!

Knights of Columbus and Shriners

Q: What is the difference between a Knight of Columbus and a Shriner?
A: A Knight, once a knight, is always a Knight, but the Shriners argue that once a night is enough for anyone!