Top 10 - Soccer vs. Sex

10. Balls are always checked for firmness
9. Periods only last 45 minutes
8. Parents cheer when you score
7. Soccer is a legal profession
6. Protective equipment can be washed and reused
5. Size doesn't matter
4. If you get too rough you get a red card
3. You can score using your head or your feet
2. Lasts a full 90 minutes
1. You can juggle your balls in front of your mother

Goat Sale

If you buy a goat for $10 and named him Mohammed, then sell it for $15.
Did you make a prophet?

Parole Hearing

Officer: Why should you be released early?
Man: I’m ..
Officer: Go on.
Man: I think...
Officer: Yes?
Man: Can I please finish my sentence?
Officer: Sure. Parole denied.