Cat And A Tree

Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree?
A: A cat-a-logue!

Divorce Barbie

Tim is shopping to find a Barbie for his daughter when he notices he knows nothing about Barbie and there aren't even prices on them. So, Tim brings three Barbie dolls to the checkout. "Hi, how may I help you?" says the checkout guy. Tim replies, "I have three Barbies and I need to know what they are and how much they cost." The checkout guys says, "Well, the first one is Princess Barbie and she is $20 dollars. The second one is Forever Barbie and she is $25 dollars. The third is Divorce Barbie and she is $250." "What!!? Tim shouts. Are you kidding me?!! Why is Divorce Barbie so much?" The checkout guy explains, "Well, Divorce Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, and everything else Ken owns!!"

My Girl's Birthday

Sven was out shopping in the mall when he met his friend Ole outside the Jewelry Store. Ole noticed that Sven had a small gift-wrapped box in his hand. "Vhat have you just purchased Sven?" Ole asks. "Vell, now that you've asked," replies Sven, "It's my Lena's birthday tomorrow and vhen I asked her this morning vhat she vanted for her birthday, Lena said, 'Oh, I dun know, dear, yust give me something with vots of diamonds.' "So vhat did you get her?" Ole asks. Sven smirks and says, "I bought her a deck of cards."