Hello Water

Q: What did the water say to the boat?
A: Nothing, it just waved.

Wordsmithing

A new mortuary in a tough mill town decided to advertise in an unorthodox fashion and so draped a banner on the front of their building that read, "Our Staff will stuff your Stiff." 
Not to be outdone, the madame across the street had her girls respond with a banner too saying,"Our Stuff will stiff your Staff."

You Get The Ring Back

Q: What`s the difference between engagement and hemorrhoids?
A: When the hemorrhoids are over you at least get the ring back.