Knock Knock - Jupiter

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Jupiter!
Jupiter who!
Jupiter fly in my soup!

Insurance Claim Statements

• Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
• The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.
• I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my hand through it.
• I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
• A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
• A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
• I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the other way.
• I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
• In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
• I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision.
• I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
• I was on my way to the doctors with rear end trouble, when my universal joints gave way, causing me to have an accident.
• Upon collision and in a flash of blue, I hit my head, twisted my neck, and tossed the lower part of my body out the side window.
• To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian.
• My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.
• An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
• I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had a skull fracture.
• I was sure the old fellow would not make it to the other side of the street when I struck him.
• The pedestrian had no idea which way to go, so I ran over him.
• I saw the slow moving, sad faced gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car.
• I was thrown from my car as it left the road, I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
• The telephone pole was approaching fast. I attempted to swerve out of its way, when it struck the front of my car.
• The accident occurred with me waving to the man I hit last week.
• I hit a bus stop sign that was obscured by human beings.
• The pedestrian was all over the road, I had to swerve a few times before I hit him.
• A bull was standing near and a fly must have tickled him as he gored my car.
• A stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
• I immediately applied my brakes as the vehicle struck the cement wall, thus bringing my car to a complete halt.
• I left my car unattended for a minute when by accident it ran away.
• I saw her look at me twice. She appeared to be making slow progress, then we met on impact.
• I struck the young man with my husband's car. He wanted to call the police but after having a look at my particulars he decided we should go to his apartment and settle things in private.
• I thought I could squeeze between two trucks when my car became squashed.
• I thought my car was in reverse but I found otherwise when it lurched forward, doing injury to a parking meter. When the police arrived the meter had expired.
• I was contemplating continuous travel of a relaxing nature when, without due justification or color of right, my vehicle was struck in the rear by a vehicle driven by a person of obvious sub-normal intelligence.
• I was on my way through a green light, with 3 witnesses, on the way to the accident that was about to happen.
• I was unable to control my car when it went berserk and struck another vehicle.
• I was unable to stop in time, and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers left immediately for a vacation with injuries.
• My car hit a pothole and came to rest approximately fifteen feet below the surface of the road.
• My girlfriend kissed me. I lost control and woke up in the hospital.
• My mind became confused by a sign that read "Free Puppy for Sale". The next thing I remember, I was in the ditch.
• No one was to blame for the accident but it never would have happened if the other driver had been alert.
• The accident happened when a right front door of a car came around the corner without giving a signal.
• The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle.
• The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in the bush with just his rear end showing.
• The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
• The other car attempted to cut in front of me, so I, with my right front fender, removed his left rear tail light.
• The other driver looked like the usual lane-hopping type with thick horn rimmed glasses, pimply faced, brown suit and thick soled shoes.
• The other driver struck my car with an Expired Drivers License then left the scene of the accident.
• There was a heavy fog and I was unable to find the traffic lights. A witness told the police that the other driver had the lights with him when he entered the intersection.
• When I pressed the windshield spray button my car left the road and struck a fire hydrant. I was unable to see the road because of the spray. My windows are clean.
• When I saw I could not avoid a collision I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.

Vatican Police

Q: What language do the Vatican Police speak?
A: Pig Latin!