Word Play Jokes
Why Women Are Better Than Bikes
- Bicycles don't get pregnant.
- You can ride your bicycle any time of the month.
- Bicycles don't have parents.
- Bicycles don't whine unless something is really wrong.
- You can share your bicycles with your friends.
- Bicycles don't care how many other bicycles you've ridden.
- When riding, you and your bicycle can arrive at the same time.
- Bicycles don't care how many other bicycles you have now.
- Bicycles don't care if you look at other bicycles.
- Bicycles don't care if you buy bicycle magazines.
- You'll never hear, "Surprise, you're going to own a new bicycle" unless you go out and buy one yourself.
- If your bicycle goes flat, you can fix it.
- If your bicycle is too loose, you can tighten it.
- If your bicycle gets misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics with it.
- You can have a black bicycle and bring it home to your parents.
- You don't have to be jealous of the guy who works on your bicycle.
- If you say bad things to your bicycle, you don't have to apologize before you ride it again.
- You can ride your bicycle as long as you want and it won't get sore.
- You can stop riding your bicycle as soon as you want and it won't get frustrated.
- Your parents won't remain in touch with your old bicycle after you dump it.
- Bicycles don't get headaches.
- Bicycles don't insult you if you're a bad rider.
- Your bicycle never wants a night out with other bicycles.
- Bicycles don't care if you're late.
- You don't have to take a shower before you ride your bicycle.
- If your bicycle doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts.
- You can ride your bicycle the first time you meet it without having to take it to dinner, see a movie, or meet it's mother.
- The only protection you need to wear when riding your bicycle is a decent helmet.
- When in mixed company, you can talk about what a great ride you had the last time you were on your bicycle.
Lorena Bobbitt Car Accident
Q: Did you hear Lorena Bobbitt was almost killed in a traffic accident?
A: Some dick cut her off.
Our Peak Mental Activity
The years of peak mental activity are surely between age four and 18. At four, we know all the questions; at eighteen, all the answers.
While on a trip with the family, I thought it would be good to teach my 5 year old daughter some things. As we past a sign I told her that is the name of the town for the next exit. As we past the exit I told her how we were passing the town. A few exits later she noticed the sign for gas. As we passed the exit, much to her delight, she informed us we were passing gas.
Q: Why should lumberjacks shave their legs
A So you can tell them apart from feminists.