U.S. State Jokes
State Flower of West Virginia
Q: What's the state flower of West Virginia?
A: A satellite dish.
Hunting Trip Emergency
Two Virginia hunters, Bob and Fred, were going on a hunting trip. They get to where they wanted to be and started walking. After about a half hour of walking, they sit down and take a rest. Bob says to Fred, "I'm not feeling to good." Fred says, "Well, we can walk back to the truck." Bob says, "Yeah lets do that." So they start walking. About 15 minutes into the trip, Bob falls over. Fred panics and calls 911. The operator answers and says, "911, what's your emergency?" Fred says, "My friend fell over with a heart attack, I think he's dead, what do I do?" Operator says, "Well first make sure he's dead." Fred says, "Ok." The operator listens and hears a BANG!!! Fred gets back on the phone and says, "Ok. He's dead... now what?"
In late 2014 the Wampanoag Indians asked their Chief if the winter was going to be cold and snowy. Not really knowing an answer, the chief takes a guess and tells the members of the village to collect wood to be prepared. Being a good leader, he then went to the library and checked the internet forecast from the National Weather Service. He was happy to see that their data agreed with message he gave his village. So the now confident Chief went back with a more urgent message to his people to collect even more wood and to be prepared. A month later he again visited the library and checked the forecast. The new forecast predicted even colder temperatures and huge snowfall. So the chief goes back to his people and orders them to go and find every scrap of wood. Two weeks later he makes one final check with the National Weather Service. This time he calls and speaks with one of their senior forecasters, gets an even colder forecast with even more snow and asks the agent how they can be so certain. The man replies, "The Indians in Boston are collecting wood like crazy!"
Q: What is the loudest state?
Blind Man Visits Texas
There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, "Wow, these seats are big!" The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in Texas." When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed, "Wow these mugs are big!" The bartender replied, "Everything is big in Texas." After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located. The bartender replied, "Second door to the right." The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and skipped the second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident. Scared to death, the blind man started shouting, "Don't flush, don't flush!"