Puppies Don't Surf The Web

Why Dogs don't surf the web...

• Can't stick their heads out of Windows 2000.
• Too difficult to "mark" every website they visit.
• Can't help attacking the screen when they hear "You've Got Mail."
• Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating.
• Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they're browsing www.pethouse.com instead of working.
• Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG frisbee.
• Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome
• Cause dogs aren't GEEKS! Now, cats, on the other hand...
• Barking in the next cubical keeps activating YOUR voice recognition software.
• SmellU-SmellMe still in beta test.
• SIT and STAY were hard enough, GREP and AWK are out of the question!
• Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to maneuver.
• Butt-sniffing is more direct and less deceiving than online chat rooms.

Computer Dog

Q: What do you get if you cross a computer and a Rottweiler?
A: A computer with a lot of bites!

Bosses, And Technology

Boss: "My laptop computer is locked up. Can you help?"
Dilbert: "Remember you have to hold it upside down and shake it to reboot.
"Boss: "Oh, that's right."
Wally: "I wonder if he'll ever realize we gave him an "Etch-A-Sketch."