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The best jokes and joke writers!

Top 5 Ferguson Police Jokes

As reported by the DOJ, these are the top 5 politically incorrect jokes emailed by Ferguson Police:

  1. President Barack Obama won't be president for long because, "What black man holds a steady job for four years?"
  2. "I be so glad that dis be my last child support payment! Month after month, year after year, all dose payments!"
  3. "An African-American woman in New Orleans was admitted into the hospital for a pregnancy termination. Two weeks later she received a check for $5,000. She phoned the hospital to ask who it was from. The hospital said, 'Crime Stoppers.'
  4. A man wanted to obtain "welfare" for his dogs because they are, "Mixed in color, unemployed, lazy, can't speak English and have no frigging clue who their Daddies are."
  5. Photo of a bare-chested group of dancing women, apparently in Africa, with the caption, "Michelle Obama's High School Reunion."

State Puns

Q: Mississippi gave Missouri a New Jersey, so what did Delaware?

A: I don't know, Alaska.

Missouri Crazy Law

Dumb Missouri Laws:

  • It is not illegal to speed. (Repealed)
  • Buckner - In this small town of only 4,000, yard waste may be burned any day except Sunday.
  • Excelsior - Springs Worrying squirrels is not tolerated.
  • Hard objects may not be thrown by hand.
  • Kansas City - Installation of bathtubs with four legs resembling animal paws is prohibited.
  • Minors are not allowed to purchase cap pistols, however they may buy shotguns freely.
  • Marceline - Minors can buy rolling paper and tobacco but not lighters.
  • Marquette - It is illegal for more than four unrelated persons to occupy the same dwelling (The Brothel Law).
  • Mole - Frightening a baby is in violation of the law.
  • Natchez - It shall be unlawful to provide beer or other intoxicants to elephants.
  • Purdy - Dancing is strictly prohibited.
  • St. Louis - It's illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket. (This law refers back to the extinct Italian celebration, Hill Day, when beer was served in buckets.)
  • A milk man may not run while on duty.
  • University City - Four women may not rent an apartment together.