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The best jokes and joke writers!

Italian Conversation

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but she listens in horror as one of the men says the following, "Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, dey come together. I come again. Two asses, dey come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a more."  "You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly, "in this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!" "Hey, coola down lady," said the man, "Imma just tellun my friend howa to spella Mississippi."

State Puns

Q: Mississippi gave Missouri a New Jersey, so what did Delaware?

A: I don't know, Alaska.

Four Eyes

Q: What has 4 eyes and cannot see?

A: Mississippi.

I Love You in 9 Languages

HOW TO SAY "I LOVE YOU" IN 9 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES:

English - I Love you

Spanish - Te Amo

French - Je T'aime

German - Ich Liebe Dich

Japanese - Ai Shite Imasu

Italian - Ti Amo

Chinese - Wo Ai Ni

Swedish - Jag Alskar

Alabama, Arkansas, North Carolina, Georgia, Tennessee, Texas, Mississippi, North Carolina and Kentucky - Nice Tits

Mississippi Jokes

Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State

Dumb Mississippi Laws:

  • Cattle rustling is punishable by hanging.
  • Horses are not to be housed within 50 feet of any road.
  • Vagrancy is punishable by either 30 days in prison or a $201 fine. -Sec. 97-35-37
  • Columbus - The fine for waving a gun in public is higher than actually shooting it.
  • Oxford - It is illegal to drive around the town square more than 100 times in a single session.
  • One may not spit on the sidewalks on the square.
  • Motor vehicles on the square are prohibited.
  • Horn honking is not permitted as it might scare horses.
  • Tylertown - It is unlawful to shave in the center of main street.