Two Friends Hunting
Two men were out hunting in the woods. One of them was a fanatical huntsman and he went hunting as often as he could. The other was his friend who is a peaceful nature loving fellow, who didn't really want to hurt anything. They had been out in the woods for some time, when they picked up the tracks of a deer. They soon caught up with it, and when they saw it, it was obvious why it had been so easy to catch up to - it had a terrible infection over it's left eye, which it couldn't even see out of. The hunter started to take aim with his shotgun, but his friend begged him to stop. "Hey!" he said, "Can't you see that's a bad eye deer?"
Redneck Gets Shot
At the police station, Bubba explained to the police officer why his cousins shot him. "Well," Bubba began, "We wuz havin' a good time drinking, when my cousin Ray picked up his shotgun and said, 'Hey, der ya fellows wanna go hunting?" "And then what happened?" the officer interrupted. "From what I remember," Bubba said, "I stood up and said, 'Sure, I'm game."
Bush and Cheney Hunting
Bush and Cheney went hunting, killed a giant buck, and were dragging it by the legs back to their car, when they were approached by a seasoned old hunter. "Hello, Mr. President, and Vice President. If I may please make a suggestion... it would be much easier for you to drag your deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won't dig into the ground."
The leaders of the free world thanked the man and tried his suggestion. A while later Cheney said, "You know, that was good thinking. This is a lot easier!" "Yessir," agreed Bush. "But durn it! We're gettin' farther away from our truck!"
Three idiots decide to go hunting. The first one says he's going to get a buck. He goes out, and indeed comes back with a buck. The other two hunters ask how he did it. He says, "I see tracks. I follow tracks. I get buck." So the second hunter says that he's going to get a doe. And he does. They ask him how he did it, and he says, "I see tracks. I follow tracks. I get doe." So the third hunter says, "I'm just gonna shoot at anything I see."
So he goes out and comes back half a day later all beaten, bruised, bloody, and totally trashed. The other two hunters ask him what happened and he says, "I see tracks. I follow tracks. I get hit by train!"