Duck Hunting Dog
A man invites a friend to watch his prize duck hunting dog at work. They approach the first pond, the dog runs ahead into the brush. He comes back and waves his tail once. The owner tells his friend that this means there is one duck on the pond. They walk up, and sure enough, one duck flies off. At the second pond, the dog waves his tail three times. The owner explains that this means there are three ducks on the pond. When they walk up, exactly three ducks take flight. At the third pond, the dog runs back and forth, humping the hunters' legs and chasing his tail. The friend asks what in the world this means. The owner explains, "This means there are so many f**king ducks on that pond, he can't even count them."
Redneck Gets Shot
At the police station, Bubba explained to the police officer why his cousins shot him. "Well," Bubba began, "We wuz havin' a good time drinking, when my cousin Ray picked up his shotgun and said, 'Hey, der ya fellows wanna go hunting?" "And then what happened?" the officer interrupted. "From what I remember," Bubba said, "I stood up and said, 'Sure, I'm game."
Q: Have you ever hunted bear?
A: No, but I've been shooting in my shorts!
20 Dead Frenchmen
Q: What do you call 20 dead frenchmen in the back of a lorry.
A: A good days hunting.
Bush and Cheney Hunting
Bush and Cheney went hunting, killed a giant buck, and were dragging it by the legs back to their car, when they were approached by a seasoned old hunter. "Hello, Mr. President, and Vice President. If I may please make a suggestion... it would be much easier for you to drag your deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won't dig into the ground."
The leaders of the free world thanked the man and tried his suggestion. A while later Cheney said, "You know, that was good thinking. This is a lot easier!" "Yessir," agreed Bush. "But durn it! We're gettin' farther away from our truck!"