Duck Hunting Dog
A man invites a friend to watch his prize duck hunting dog at work. They approach the first pond, the dog runs ahead into the brush. He comes back and waves his tail once. The owner tells his friend that this means there is one duck on the pond. They walk up, and sure enough, one duck flies off. At the second pond, the dog waves his tail three times. The owner explains that this means there are three ducks on the pond. When they walk up, exactly three ducks take flight. At the third pond, the dog runs back and forth, humping the hunters' legs and chasing his tail. The friend asks what in the world this means. The owner explains, "This means there are so many f**king ducks on that pond, he can't even count them."
A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight point buck. "Where's Henry?" one of his campmates asked. "Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail." "You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back!?!" "A tough call," nodded the hunter, "but I figured no one is going to steal Henry!"
The Foo Bird.
A man went to Africa to do some game hunting. While there, he hired a young native to accompany him as his guide. Soon, a large flock of birds flew overhead and the hunter took aim. The guide grabbed his arm and said, "Oh, no! These are foo birds and to shoot one means terrible things will happen to you!" The man figured that was only a superstition of the natives and shot one down. Then the rest of the flock returned and pooped all over him. He hollered at the boy, "I must have some water right away to wash this mess off. The boy said "Oh no! To wash the crap of the foo bird off means sudden death immediately!" Again the hunter ignored his advice, found water and got cleaned off. Sure enough he dropped dead then and there. The moral of this story is "If the foo shits, wear it."
Two Friends Hunting
Two men were out hunting in the woods. One of them was a fanatical huntsman and he went hunting as often as he could. The other was his friend who is a peaceful nature loving fellow, who didn't really want to hurt anything. They had been out in the woods for some time, when they picked up the tracks of a deer. They soon caught up with it, and when they saw it, it was obvious why it had been so easy to catch up to - it had a terrible infection over it's left eye, which it couldn't even see out of. The hunter started to take aim with his shotgun, but his friend begged him to stop. "Hey!" he said, "Can't you see that's a bad eye deer?"
Redneck Gets Shot
At the police station, Bubba explained to the police officer why his cousins shot him. "Well," Bubba began, "We wuz havin' a good time drinking, when my cousin Ray picked up his shotgun and said, 'Hey, der ya fellows wanna go hunting?" "And then what happened?" the officer interrupted. "From what I remember," Bubba said, "I stood up and said, 'Sure, I'm game."