Catching Fish

Jim had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish. He told the fish salesman, "Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?" "Why do you want me to throw them at you?" "Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them." "Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange roughy." "But why?" "Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, I should tell you to take orange roughy. She prefers that for supper tonight.

Professional Fisherman

Q: What do you call a professional fisherman?
A: A master baiter.

Genie and the Beer

Two old guys were fishing in a boat on Lake Michigan. A bottle comes floating by in the current. One codger scoops it up, sees a cork in the top, and yanks it out. A genie pops out in a puff of smoke and says, "You get one wish between the two of you-- make it a good one." The old man in the front of the boat yells back to his fishing buddy. "Lemme handle this-- I know just what to ask for!" He looks at the genie and says, "We want the whole lake to be turned into ice cold beer!"  The genie nods and says, "You got it, boys!" And instantaneously, the whole lake is beer! The old man in the back of the boat throws a life preserver, smacks his buddy up-side the head, and yells out, "You idiot! Why the heck did you do that?" "Whadaya talking about?"  the other fisherman answers. "I thought you'd like a lake-full of beer. What's the problem?" "I do like it... but the problem is... now we gotta piss in the boat!!!!"