It was raining hard and a big puddle had formed in front of the little Irish pub. An old man stood beside the puddle holding a stick with a string on the end and jiggled it up and down in the water. A curious gentleman asked what he was doing. “Fishing”, replied the old man. Poor old fool, thought the gentlemen. So, he decided he would invite the old man to have a drink in the pub. Feeling he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whisky, the gentleman asked, “And, how many have you caught today?”
“You're the sixth,” he answered.
Q: What do you call a Polish fisherman?
A: A fishing pole.
He Loves To Fish
This couple just got married and was spending their honeymoon at a secluded campgrounds next to a small lake. Every day the new bridegroom was seen in a boat on the lake fishing. Two old timers who were always setting on the dock thought it kinda funny that the groom was spending all his time on the lake. Well, their curiosity got the best of them and they confronted him when he came in for lunch. The first old man said, " Son when I first got married, me and my wife spent every day of our honeymoon in bed, well you know!" The new groom said, "well, normally that's what I would do, But she, well, she's got gonorrhea." The second old man said, " well son haven't you ever heard about oral sex? everybody's doing it these days." The groom says, "yes I have heard about that, but she also has pyorrhea." The first old man looks at the second old man, and they both nod to each other and offered this advice. "Sonny, in times like this you just might want to roll her over." The groom says " I know all about that too, but she's got diarrhea." The two old men look at each other and at the same time they say, "Daggone Sonny... gonorrhea, pyorrhea, diarrhea, what the hell did ya marry her for?!" He said "Well she's also got worms,... And I dooo looove to Fish!!
Ice - Fishing Blonde
A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally, after getting all the necessary "tools" together, she made for the nearest frozen lake. After positioning her comfy stool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!!!!!!"
Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a Thermos of cappuccino and began to cut another hole in the ice. Again from the heavens, the voice bellowed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!!!!!"
The blonde, now quite worried, moved down to the opposite end of the ice, set up her stool, and tried again to cut her hole in the ice. The voice came once more, "FOR THE LAST TIME, THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!!!!"
She stopped, looked skyward, and said, "Is that you, Lord?"
The voice replied, "NO you idiot!... This is the Ice-Rink Manager."
The Golfer vs. The Fisherman
Q: What's the difference between a golfer and a fisherman?
A: When a golfer lies he doesn't have to bring anything home to prove it!