The Barracks Door Was Left Open

Mr. Jones had hired a new secretary. She was young, sweet and very polite. While taking dictation one morning, she noticed that his fly was open. Upon leaving the room she said,  "Mr. Jones, your barracks door is open." He was puzzled by her remark, but later that day he noticed that his zipper was open. So, he decided to have a little fun with his secretary and called her back into his office. "By the way Miss Smith," he said, "When you noticed my barracks door open this morning, did you also notice a soldier standing at attention ?" "Why no sir," she replied, "All I saw was a little disabled veteran sitting on two duffel bags."

Finding perfect men

At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends. "The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. And stay home at night!" An old granny overheard and spoke up, "Honey, if that's all you want, get a TV!"

Why do Women Love Cats????

I've never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, come home and expect to be fed and stroked, then want to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.