Sexist Jokes

After introducing the iPhone 12, Apple surprised the audience with 'one more thing.' Apple is introducing a new line of digital implants for adults. Shipping in the spring of 2021, the Apple iBoob is a breast enhancement device that can store and play music. Sold in pairs, the new Apple iBoobs will cost from $999 to $1399 depending on cup and speaker size. This is considered a major social breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

A Canadian is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm. His friend Doug stops him and asks, "Hey Bob! Whacha get the case of beer for?" "I got it for my wife, eh." answers Bob. "Oh!" exclaims Doug, "Good trade!"

Some people grow old gracefully, while others fight and scratch the whole way. Andy's wife, refusing to give in to the looks of growing old, goes out and buys a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger. After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the "miracle" products, she asks her husband - "Darling, honestly, if you didn't know me, what age would you say I am?" Looking over her carefully, Andy replied,..."Judging from your skin, twenty; your hair, eighteen; and your figure, twenty five." "Oh, you flatterer!" she gushed. Just as she was about to tell Andy his reward, he stops her by saying..."WHOA, hold on there sweety!" Andy interrupted. "I haven't added them up yet!"

Q: Why are blonde jokes so short?

A: So men can remember them.

Why Coffee Is Better Than Women:

Coffee doesn't mind if you wake up at 3 AM and decide to have some. 

You won't get arrested for trying to buy coffee at 3 AM. 

Coffee never runs out. 

No matter how ugly you are, you can always get a cup of coffee.

You can always ditch a bad cup of coffee. 

When coffee gets old, you can throw it away.

Coffee is out of your system by tomorrow morning.

Coffee can be ready in 15 minutes or less.

White men can take black coffee home to their parents. 

Coffee doesn't complain when you put whipped cream on it. 

You can always heat up coffee. 

Coffee smells and looks good in the morning. 

If you put chocolate in your coffee, it doesn't put on weight.

Two words; INSTANT COFFEE !