Soldiers in Heaven

Little Willie asked his mother: "Mamma, don't soldiers ever go to heaven?"
"Of course they do!" protested his mother. "What makes you ask?"
"There are so many soldiers with beards but I never saw any pictures of angels with beards."
"Oh, that's because most men who go to Heaven get there by a close shave."

Great Lover

He: Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way.
She: Well, you succeeded!

Iron People

Q: What's the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?
A: One is a superhero and the other is a command.