Sex Jokes - Prostitute Jokes
Runny Nose
Q. What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
A. Full up.
Shanghai Escort
I met a local girl when I was in Shanghai. I asked her if she could escort me for a city tour and requested her mobile number so I could call her. She got excited and said: "sex sex sex, wan free sex for tonight" Wow, I'm guessing this is how Chinese women express their hospitality! But then, my other friend interpreted for me & told me what she really said : 666136429.
A Hooker And A Engineer
Q: What do you get when you cross a hooker with a systems engineer?
A: A fuckin know-it-all!
After the Fact
A guy and his date are parked out in the country away from town, when they start kissing and fondling each other. Just then, the girl stops and sits up.
“What’s the matter?” asks the guy.
She replies, “I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a prostitute, and I charge $100 for sex.” The man thinks about it for a few seconds, but then reluctantly gets out a $100 bill, pays her, and they have sex.
After a cigarette, he just sits in the driver’s seat looking out the window. “Why aren’t we going anywhere?” asks the girl.
“Well, I should have mentioned this before,” replies the man, “but I’m actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $50.
Christmas Parrot
A woman is looking for a Christmas present for her husband. She walks by a pet shop and sees a beautiful parrot. A tag on the cage says $50. “Why so little?” she asks. The store manager says, “This bird used to live in a house of prostitution. It has kind of a vulgar mouth.” The woman decides to buy the parrot anyway. She brings the parrot home and puts his cage near the Christmas tree. First thing the bird says is, “New house, new madam.” She's a little shocked but figures that’s not so bad. When her two daughters get home from school, the bird sees them and says, “New house, new madam, new girls.” The woman is surprised, but she figures the parrot will straighten out once it figures out who everybody is. A little while later, the woman’s husband, Frank, comes home from work. As he walks in the door, the bird says: “Hi Frank.”
