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Sex Jokes
Shipwrecked Man
A man was shipwrecked with his dog and a sheep on a tiny island in the middle of nowhere. Everytime the man moved close to the sheep, his dog would snarl and growl at him.
One day while walking the island he discovered a lovely naked lady who also had just become marooned. "Finally, some company!" he thought. While sitting on the shore and the watching the sunset with his new female friend, he slowly leaned over and whispered in her ear, ''Hey, could you go walk the dog?''
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Speaking of Sex
A gentleman is permitted to join a private club. The initiation consists of holding an unprepared on-the-spot lecture, on a theme starting on a letter which is alotted to him. The man gets an S, and chooses to give his impromptu lecture on Sex. Coming home and reporting to his wife, he chickens out and says that he spoke about Sailing. The next day, his wife meets a club member who says her hubby "gave a very good lecture last night -haw haw haw." The wife recalled; "That's strange, I must say. He has only done it twice. The first time he got sick, and the second time he lost his hat."
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Nuns Waiting to Get Into Heaven
A group of nuns died and are at the door to heaven. The guard explains to them that because they were supposed to stay pure while they were on Earth, only the ones that haven't touched a penis could go in. The ones that were left outside had to make a line and one by one put holy water on the part of them that had touched a penis.
The first one only places her finger in the holy water. The second places her hand in the holy water. Then they hear a commotion as a nun tries to get to the beginning of the line and is stopped by the guard who asks her, "What is going on?" And the nun replied, "I just wanted to gargle first before Elena puts her ass in!"
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