We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. To prevent fraudulent voting, we don't allow votes from anonymous proxies.

This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote.

You must be a registered user to submit a joke.  But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process.

We’re sorry, but your browser settings indicate that you don’t want to be tracked.  You can either disable that setting or simply register for a FREE account, so we’ll know that you want us to track your preferences and feedback.  Don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

The best jokes and joke writers!

The Medical Convention

At a medical convention, a male doctor and a female doctor start eyeing each other. The male doctor asks her to dinner and she accepts. As they sit down at the restaurant, she excuses herself to go and wash her hands. After dinner, one thing leads to another and they end up in her hotel bedroom. Just as things get hot, the female doc interrupts and says she has to go and wash her hands. Once she comes back, they go for it. After the sex session, she gets up and says she is going to wash her hands. As she comes back the male doc says, "I bet you are a surgeon." She confirms, and asks how he knew. "Easy, he said, you're always washing your hands." "That's very clever!" she says, "I bet you're an anesthesiologist." "Wow, how did you guess?" he asked. "I didn't feel a thing!" she replied.

A Caring Husband

A couple just checked into a hotel and the clerk asks the man after helping him with his luggage " Anything else?" " NO, thanks" " Maybe, your wife needs something ?" "Oh, yeah. Thank you for your reminder." " Do you sell greeting cards ?"

Dear Diary

DEAR DIARY - DAY 1: All packed for the cruise ship - all my nicest dresses, swimsuits, short sets.  Really, really exciting. Our local Red Hat chapter - The Late Bloomers decided on this "all-girls" trip. It will be my first one - and I can't wait!

DEAR DIARY - DAY 2: Entire day at sea, beautiful. Saw whales and dolphins. Met the Captain today - seems like a very nice man.

DEAR DIARY - DAY 3: At the pool today. Did some shuffleboard, hit golf balls off the deck. Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. Felt honoured and had a wonderful time. He is very attractive and attentive.

DEAR DIARY - DAY 4: Won $800.00 in the ship's casino. Captain asked me to have dinner with him in his own cabin. Had a scrumptious meal complete with caviar and champagne. He asked me to stay the night, but I declined. Told him I could not be unfaithful to my husband.

DEAR DIARY - DAY 5: Pool again today. Got sunburned, and I went inside to drink at piano-bar, stayed there for rest of day. Captain saw me, bought me several large drinks. Really is quite charming. Again asked me to visit his cabin for the night. Again I declined.

He told me, if I did not let him have his way with me, he would sink the ship. I was shocked.

DEAR DIARY - DAY 6: Today I saved 2600 lives. Twice.

Every Precaution

I must take every precaution not to get pregnant," said Edna to Priscilla. "But I thought you said your hubby had a vasectomy,"  Priscilla responded. "He did. That's why I have to take every precaution."

I Was Golfing

Wife to husband: "What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?"

Husband to wife: "Golfing with friends, my dear."

Wife to husband: "What? At 2 a.m.?!"

Husband to wife: "Yes, We used night clubs."