Sex Jokes - One Night Stand Jokes

A guy went into a bar and met a nice girl. They have a few drinks and soon wound up at his place, in bed. She was on top when suddenly she had an epileptic seizure -- she was shaking and foaming at the mouth. This is the best sex he'd ever had. He finished, but she is still shaking and thrashing about with her seizure. He began to get nervous and took her to the emergency room. A nurse asked what the problem was and he replied, "I think her orgasm's stuck!"

She said, "Kiss me doctor!" Doctor said, "I can't as we doctors have an ethics standard that does not allow us to kiss our patients, in fact, I really shouldn't be fucking you."

Two girls were roommates. One evening, Millie came running in, shedding clothes on the way to the bathroom. She yelled, "Hurry up Tillie, get ready for our date!" Tillie didn't know anything about the date and said so. Millie explained that she'd met two really great looking guys and had made dates for both of them for that evening. Tillie said, "I'm not going out on any more blind dates." "Why not?"" They're always the same," said Tillie, "It's sex, sex, sex! Nothing but a pain in the ass!" Millie looked at her in disbelief and exclaimed, "Honey, you're doing it wrong!"

Q: What's the mating call of the brunette?

A: "All the blondes have gone home!"

There once was a snake crossing a highway and a truck ran over its ass. When the snake went back to get its ass, a truck ran over its head. The moral of the story is, "Don't lose your head over a piece of ass!"