Sex Jokes - One Night Stand Jokes
Everything In The Kitchen Sink
Out on the town one night, a young lad successfully chats up an attractive female, and they go back to her place. "You can't make any noise," she warns him. "My parents are upstairs and if they find out they'll kill us!" Things start getting heated on the sofa, but after a while alcohol gets the better of the man's bladder. "I have to go," he says." "Well, you can't go upstairs, it's right next to my parents' bedroom," she replies. "Use the kitchen sink". So he dutifully retires to the kitchen. A few minutes later, he pops his head round the door and asks, "Do you have any toilet paper?"
Old Man And His Condom
One day this old man was about to have sex with a young girl which he did not know. The old man began to put on his condom when the young girl asked him why is he putting one on. She said "you don't have to worry about getting me pregnant because you are too old and you don't have to worry about catching anything because you are going to die pretty soon anyway". The old man continued to put on his condom; he then looked up at the girl and said, "young girl the reason I am putting on this condom isn't because I am afraid of getting you pregnant or catching anything. I just like the scent of burning rubber."
The Office Playboy
The office playboy had a date with an attractive young woman. The next day someone asked him how things had gone. "She uses too many four-letter words for me," was the reply. "Really?" "Yes," answered the playboy. "All evening long she was saying "don't" and "stop" and "quit that."
A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him around her apartment, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears.
Hundreds of small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones on a shelf a little higher and huge bears on the top shelf along the wall. The man is kind of surprised that this woman would have a collection of teddy bears, especially one that's so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her. After a night of passion, as they are lying together in the after glow the man rolls over and asks, smiling, "Well, how was it?"
The woman says, "You can have any prize from the BOTTOM shelf."
Thor the God of Love
THOR, the God of Love wakes up the morning after the orgy. As he sits up, stretches and looks around, he sees a beautiful, shapely, young blonde standing in the doorway. He walks over and says, "Good morning, I'm THOR"! She looks back at him with blue eyes and a comely smiles and says, "YOUR THOR??? I'M SO THOR I CAN'T PITH!"