Sex Jokes - Gay Jokes
Bob in Accounting?
The company president called the chief security guard into his office. "Chuck, we've received a complaint from one of the employees that you are making obscene sexual comments and putting your hands where they don't belong. These unwanted advances will have to stop." Chuck looked down at his feet and mumbled, "I'm sorry, Sir. I won't' do it again." The company president said, "I'm sure Ms. Jones will be happy to hear that." Chuck's face lit up. "Ms Jones?!!!! I was afraid that Bob in Accounting was complaining!!!!"
Two Couples Decide to Spend the Weekend Away Together
Two couples decide to spend the weekend away together at a posh hotel. When they get there, one guy suggests they indulge in partner-swapping as a trial. After 2 hours of solid sex by the fireside, the guy turned to his new partner and said, "Wow! This is the very best sex I had in years. I wonder how the girls are doing?"
My friend told me he was shagging his girlfriend's twin.
I said: "You lucky thing! But how do you tell them apart?"
"Oh that's easy," he said, "Her brother has a mustache."
Let's Do It
Man: Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason.
Woman: Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!
Leprechauns and a Small Penis
Once there was this guy, lets call him Fred, who had a very small penis. Poor Fred thought if only he had larger equipment then maybe the chicks would like him more. One day Fred went into the men’s room and a very short man dressed in green was standing there peeing. Well, Fred couldn't help but notice what an enormous penis the man had and he said as much. "How did it get so big?" he asked incredulously. "With magic," the man replied, "I am a leprechaun. "Fred was amazed. "Can you make mine that big? "The leprechaun could and said he would if Fred would only do him a small favor...to bend over and let him have his way with Fred. Fred agreed and did so. When they were finished he pulled his pants back up and stood. "How old are you boy?" the man in green asked as he stood at the door. "Thirty. Why?" "You're thirty years old and you still believe in leprechauns?"