Sex Jokes - Gay Jokes
Two Executives Working In The Garment Center
Two executives working in the garment center are having lunch together. Goldstein says to his friend, "Last week was one of the worst weeks of my entire life."
"What happened?" asks Birnbaum. Goldstein moans,
"My wife and I went to Florida on vacation. It rained for seven days and seven nights, so my wife went out and spent thousands of dollars on the credit card. I came back to New York and found out that my brother-in-law accountant has been ripping me off for millions. And, to top it all off, when I came in to work on Monday morning, I found my son having sex with the garment model on my desk!"
"You think you had a bad week?" responds Birnbaum. "My week was even worse! I went to Florida on vacation with my wife and it rained for seven days and seven nights, so my wife went out and spent thousands on the credit card. Then, when I got back to New York, I found out that my brother-in-law accountant has been ripping me off for millions. And, to top it all off, when I came in to work on Monday morning, I found my son having sex with the garment model on my desk!"
"How can you say that your week was worse than mine?" asks Goldstein. "It was identical!"
"You shmuck!" replies Birnbaum. "I manufacture men's garments!"
Q: How can you tell a tough lesbian bar?
A: Even the pool table doesn't have balls.
Gay Men and a Baby
Two gay men were partners for life and finally decided they wanted a child of their own. After weeks of consultation with doctors and psychiatrists the two decided to mix their sperm and implant it into a willing surrogate mother. Soon they learned that the procedure had worked and that the surrogate was pregnant and doing well. After the usual period of time they got the call they were waiting for... their baby was born!
So they rushed to the hospital to see the little one. Looking through the viewing glass they noticed several newborn girls in a row... all of which were crying and carrying on intensely. Then they spotted a cute little baby boy at the end of the row, smiling and looking at them with great joy... this little baby had to be theirs.
Soon they saw a nurse and she confirmed that yes, indeed the peaceful little boy was their son. They started congratulating each other, saying how lucky they are that they have such a perfectly happy well behaved son.
The nurse, hearing this, said "He may look happy now, but you should see him when we take the pacifier out of his ass!"
Man In A Pub
Man in a pub, "If you went camping and woke up in the morning with a bloody condom hanging out of your ass, would you tell anyone?" Other man, "Bloody? Hell, no!" First man, "Want to come camping?"
Q: What's worse than finding a Justin Bieber concert DVD in your boyfriend's bedroom?
A: Finding a box of tissues next to it.