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The best jokes and joke writers!

Acne and Catholic Priests

Q: What is the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?

A: Acne usually comes on a boy's face after he turns 12!

Lesbian Visits a Whore House

A popular whore house was visited by a lesbian. The lesbian requested a 15 year old, and the madam replied, "I'm sorry, we don't serve minors to lickers."

Check The Buffet

In a Texas bar, the bartender Fred was fed up with penis boasting from the regulars. So to put an end to all the boasting Fred says to them "whip 'em out". Fred pulls a yard stick from under the bar, at the same time a gay guy walks into the bar. Fred ask the man if there is something that he can get for him. The gay guy replies "I was going to get a beer, but I'll check your buffet first."

Happy Birthday

Bruce comes home one day and says to his lover, "Please do me a favor. It feels like something's stuck up my ass. Could you check it out for me?"

His lover lubes up his finger (mercifully) and shoves it up Bruce's ass, feeling all around, and says, "I don't feel anything."

Bruce says, "Trust me, there's something up there. Try lubing up your whole hand and checking it out."

So his lover lubes his whole hand and sticks it up Bruce's ass. He feels around, and then pulls out a Rolex watch.

He says, "I found your problem. There was a watch stuck up your ass."

Bruce starts singing, "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you..."

Measure Up

Four friends met up after a game of golf, and while one man went to get drinks, the other three spoke about how successful their sons are:

Guy 1: My son is so successful he owns a sports car dealership and just gave his best friend a Ferrari 488 GTB.

Guy 2: Thats nothing, my son runs Gulfstream and just gave his best friend a G650.

Guy 3: Well my son is more success than that, he owns an architecture firm and just gave his best friend a French Chateau.

Guy 4 walks back to the group of the other 3 guys.

Guy 4: Hey guys what are we talking about?

Guy 1: Oh, we are talking about how successful our sons are.

Guy 4: Well, my son is a Gay stripper.

Guy 2: You must be so disappointed.  What caused him to be so unsuccessful in life?

Guy 4: Actually, he is doing very well for himself. He just got a new Ferrari, his own private jet, and a French castle from his three boyfriends.