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Sex Jokes
The Good Wife
After the annual office Labor Day party blowout, John woke up with a pounding headache, cotton-mouth, and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom, he was able to make his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him. "Louise," he moaned, "Tell me what went on last night. Was it as bad as I think?"
"Even worse," she assured him, voice dripping with scorn. "You made a complete ass of yourself, succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors, and insulted the President of the company to his face."
"He's an asshole - piss on him!"
"You did," Louise informed him. "And he fired you."
"Well, screw him!" said John.
"I did. You're back at work on Monday!"
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Blonde Operation
A young blonde lady is in the hospital for an operation. She says, "Doc, how long after my operation will I have to wait until I can have sex again?"
He says, "You know, Miss Stukowski, you're the first person who ever asked me that before a tonsillectomy!"
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A Cheese Sandwich.
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men. "Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?" "I was wondering", whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" "Yes," she purrs, "I am." The man replies "Well wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich!"
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