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Sex Jokes
Back In The Closet
A young gay man calls home and tells his Jewish mother that he has decided to go back into the closet because he has met a wonderful girl and they are going to be married. He tells his mother that he is sure she will be happier since he knows that his gay lifestyle has been very disturbing to her. She responds that she is indeed delighted and asks tentatively, "I suppose it would be too much to hope that she would be Jewish?" He tells her that not only is the girl Jewish, but she’s from a wealthy Beverly Hills family. She admits she is overwhelmed by the news, and asks, "What is her name?" He answers, "Monica Lewinsky." There is a pause, then his mother asks, "What happened to that nice black boy you were dating last year?"
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Lemon Pennance
A guy goes into the church confessional and says, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I slept with five different women last night.” The priest says, “Go home, squeeze five lemons into a glass, and drink it all as fast as you can.” “And I will be forgiven?” asks the man. “No,” the priest says, “but it will wipe that smirk off your face.”
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Overload
" My penis hurts really bad!" ...complains the patient. So the doctor asks: "Do you have a wife?" "Yes." "How many times do you have sex with her?" "4 times." "A week?" "No, a day" says the patient. "Do you perhaps have a mistress?" asks the doctor. "Yes." "And how often do you have sex with her?" "4 times." "A week?" "No, a day" says the patient. "Hmm. Well, see, this might be the cause of your problem..." says the doctor. "Really? And here I thought it was from the wanking."
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