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The best jokes and joke writers!

Elementary School Fire

In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?

First Day of School

Q: What did the school say to the playground about the first day of school?

A: I'll be there with bells on

Late Again

A kid was late for school one day. "I had to take the bull down to mate with the heifer," he explained to the teacher. "Couldn't your father have done that?" "Sure, but the bull would have done a better job."

Arab in Ireland

An Arab boy moves to Ireland. On his first day of school his teacher asks, "What is your name?" "My name is Mohammed," the boy replies. "You live in Ireland now, your new name is Mike," says the teacher. The boy smiles and has a good time in his classes. After school the boy returns home and is greeted by his mother. "How was your first day at school, Mohammed?" his mother asks. "I live in Ireland now, my new name is Mike!" The boy replies. His mother becomes infuriated, "Have you forgotten where you came from? Your heritage? You have disgraced your ancestors!"

His mother beat him and when his father comes home from work he does the same.

The next day the boy returns to school and his teacher sees his fresh bruises. "Mike! What happened?" asked the teacher. The boy replies with a grimace "Well, shortly after becoming an Irishman I was jumped by two fucking Arabs!"

Long and Hard

Q: To a blonde, what is long and hard?

A: Grade 4.