Blatant Racial Discrimination
In a kindergarten in California, a teacher asks three children what they do after recess. The teacher asks Sally what she did at recess. Sally said she played in the sandbox. The teacher says "If you can spell 'sand' on the blackboard, I'll give you a cookie." Sally spells sand and gets her cookie. The teacher then asks Tim what he did during recess. He said he played in the sandbox with Sally. The teacher says "If you can spell 'box' on the blackboard, I'll give you a cookie." He spells box and gets his cookie. The teacher then asks Mohammad what he did at recess. He said he tried to play with Sally and Tim in the sandbox, but they threw stones at him. The teacher says, "That sounds like blatant racial discrimination to me. Okay, if you can spell 'blatant racial discrimination' on the blackboard I'll give you a cookie."
A teacher says, “Okay, class. Today we're going to be talking about the tenses. If I say, I'm beautiful, which tense is it?”
Little Johnny raises his hand and says, “Obviously past tense, Miss.”
Arab in Ireland
An Arab boy moves to Ireland. On his first day of school his teacher asks, "What is your name?" "My name is Mohammed," the boy replies. "You live in Ireland now, your new name is Mike," says the teacher. The boy smiles and has a good time in his classes. After school the boy returns home and is greeted by his mother. "How was your first day at school, Mohammed?" his mother asks. "I live in Ireland now, my new name is Mike!" The boy replies. His mother becomes infuriated, "Have you forgotten where you came from? Your heritage? You have disgraced your ancestors!"
His mother beat him and when his father comes home from work he does the same.
The next day the boy returns to school and his teacher sees his fresh bruises. "Mike! What happened?" asked the teacher. The boy replies with a grimace "Well, shortly after becoming an Irishman I was jumped by two fucking Arabs!"
Long and Hard
Q: To a blonde, what is long and hard?
A: Grade 4.
A kid was late for school one day. "I had to take the bull down to mate with the heifer," he explained to the teacher. "Couldn't your father have done that?" "Sure, but the bull would have done a better job."