Answering Machine - Satanic Hotline

Thank you for calling the Satanic Hotline. All of our operators are busy at the moment. If you would like, leave a brief message after the tone, and someone will get back to you... When hell freezes over. 

Everyone Makes Mistakes

When you were born, God admitted that even He could make a mistake!

IRS Agents Into Heaven

Two income tax collectors died and arrived at the pearly gates. Just ahead of them were two clergy, but St. Peter motioned them aside and took the internal revenue into heaven at once. "Why them ahead of us?" the surprised religious leaders asked. "Haven't we done everything possible to spread the good word?" "Yes," said St. Peter, "but those two IRS agents scared the Heck out of more people than you ever did!"