10 Signs Your Amish Teen's in Trouble

1. Sometimes stays in bed till after 6 am.
2. In his sock drawer, you find pictures of women without bonnets.
3. Shows up at barn raisings in full "Kiss" makeup.
4. When you criticize him, he yells, "Thou sucketh!"
5. His name is Jebediah, but he goes by "Jeb Daddy."
6. Defiantly says, "If I had a radio, I'd listen to disco!."
7. You come upon his secret stash of colorful socks.
8. Uses slang expression: "Talk to the hand, cause the beard ain't listening."
9. Was recently pulled over for "driving under the influence of cottage cheese."
10. He's wearing his big black hat backwards.

Converted

Moe: My wife converted me to religion.
Joe: Really?
Moe: Yes. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell.

Funeral Tech

One of the funeral ushers walks to the priest and asks, "What's the WiFi password?"
The priest replies, "Respect the dead!"
The man replies, "All lowercase?"