Deferring Mormons in College

A college student was approached by two guys in white shirts and nice ties riding bicycles. Immediately the college dude knew where this was going and he was already running late to class. So, he asked the two guys if they wanted a sip of his coffee. They replied, "No, we Mormons don't believe in drinking coffee." The college dude quickly argues, "A cup of coffee this early in the morning has incredible benefits." "Like what?" replied the Mormons. "Well, It keeps you from being Mormon." "Have a nice day sir," and they left.

God Humor

Smith climbed to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God. Looking up, he asked the Lord, "God, what does a million years mean to you?"
The Lord replied, "A minute."
Smith asked, "And what does a million dollars mean to you?"
The Lord replied, "A penny."
Smith asked, "Can I have a penny?"
The Lord replied, "In a minute."

Where Is Jesus?

A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that he grew up, etc. So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?" Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven." Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart." Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurts out, "I know! I know! He's in our bathroom!" The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this. And Little Johnny said, "Well, every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?'"