Religion Jokes

A Pastor Hunting

A pastor in Maine skipped services one Sunday to go bear hunting. Along the trail he turned a corner and collided with a bear. The pastor stumbled, backwards, slipped off the trail, and began tumbling down the mountain, the bear in hot pursuit. Finally the pastor crashed into a bolder, breaking both his legs and sending his rifle flying through the air, just out of his reach. As the bear closed in, the pastor cried out "Lord, I'm sorry for what I have done. Please forgive me and save me! - Lord please make this bear a Christian". Suddenly the bear skipped to a halt at the pastor's feet, fell to it's knees, clasped it's paws together, began to weep and said "God bless this food which I am about to receive!"

Categories: Animal Jokes , Religion Jokes
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Pope Calls the Plays

In New York City, Jets fans asked the Pope for a blessing so they could beat the Patriots.  Pope Francis said the Jets will win with a lot of Hail Mary’s

Categories: Religion Jokes (Catholic Jokes) , U.S. State Jokes (New York Jokes) , U.S. State Jokes (Massachusetts Jokes) , Sports Jokes (American Football Jokes)
Submitted BY: Nick

Confessing

There are two guys walking in front of a large church. One guy says to the other, "Just a minute, I'll be right back." He goes into the confessional and says, "Father forgive me, for I have sinned. I have had two extramarital affairs." The Father says, "You need to say 40 Hail Mary's and I also need to know if the women were members of my parish." The confessor replies, "Yes Father, they were." The priest says then that in order to receive absolution he, the priest, needed the names of the two women. The man said, "Father, I don't kiss and tell, and besides, I must leave them to handle their own confessions." The priest responded, "Well, was one of them Mrs. O'Reilly?" The man replied, "No Father, and I wouldn't say anyway. I've told you that!" The priest says, "Well, was one of them Mrs. Brown?" Exasperated the man said, "No Father, and I told you I'm not telling you the names of the women!!!" The priest said, "Well then I'm going to expel you from the congregation for 6 months! The man said. "OK, fine." and left. As he approached his friend at the bottom of the steps his friend said, "So, how did it go?" The confessor said, "Great! 6 months off, and two leads!"

Categories: Religion Jokes (Catholic Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Cheater Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous