Jewish Santa

Q: Did you hear about the Jewish Santa Claus?
A: He comes down the chimney, wakes up the children and says, "Hey kids, do you want to buy some toys?"

Playing Both Sides

The priest was preparing a man for his long day's journey into night. Whispering firmly, the priest said, "Denounce the Devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil!" The dying man said nothing. The priest repeated his order. Still the dying man said nothing. The priest asked, "Why do you refuse to denounce the Devil and his evil?" The dying man said, "Until I know where I'm heading, I don't think I ought to aggravate anybody!"

Christmas In A Jewish Home

Q: How is Christmas celebrated in a Jewish home?
A: They put parking meters on the roof!