Why Are You Not Married Comebacks

Comebacks for the question "why are you not married yet?".

• You haven't asked yet.
• I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life.
• Because I just love hearing this question.
• Just lucky, I guess.
• It gives my mother something to live for.
• My fiance is awaiting his/her parole.
• I'm still hoping for a shot at Miss/Mr. America.
• Do you know how hard it is to get two tickets to Miss Saigon?
• I'm waiting until I get to be your age.
• It didn't seem worth a blood test.
• I already have enough laundry to do, thank you.
• Because I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating.
• My co-op board doesn't allow spouses.
• I'd have to forfeit my billion dollar trust fund.
• They just opened a great singles bar on my block.
• I wouldn't want my parents to drop dead from sheer happiness.
• I guess it just goes to prove that you can't trust those voodoo doll rituals.
• What? And lose all the money I've invested in running personal ads?
• I don't want to have to support another person on my paycheck.
• Why aren't you thin?
• I'm married to my career, although recently we have been considering a trial separation.
• Bonus reply for Single Mothers: Because having a husband and a child would be redundant.

Top Ten Things Men Know About Women

Top 10 things men know about women:

1. They have tits
2. They have tits
3. They have tits
4. They have tits
5. They have tits
6. They have tits
7. They have tits
8. They have tits
9. They have tits
10. They have tits

Eminem's Divorce

• That comment about Elton being "twice the woman" she ever was.
• Caught Eminem fantasizing about killing other women.
• Sick of hiding her love for the Insane Clown Posse.
• Sure, he talks and raps like a black man, but when he takes down his pants...
• Recently overtaken by a strange and unfamiliar compulsion to live past the age of 35.
• I mean come on, people... the dude lost to Steely Dan.
• Thanks to a recent surgery, her head's no longer implanted deep within her own rectum.
  
  And The Top Reason Eminem's Wife Filed For Divorce. . .
• Sick of dating a rich, famous, abusive bastard. Would like to try a poor, unknown abusive bastard for a change.