Relationship Jokes - Woman Criticizes Man

The Perfect Couple

Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car along a winding road when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus, with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated, and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident. The question is: Who was the survivor?
 
The perfect woman survived. She's the only one that existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and no such thing as a perfect man.
***Women stop here.***
That is the end of the joke. (Men keep scrolling)
So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving, and that explains why there was a car accident. By the way, if you're a woman and you're reading this, this illustrates another point: Women never listen.

Categories: Holiday Jokes (Christmas Jokes) , Sexist Jokes (About Women) , Sexist Jokes (About Men) , Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman) , Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Bejewelled Portrait

Mrs. Whembleton decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant." "But, Madam, you are not wearing any of those things." "True enough," said Mrs. Whembleton. "If I should pre-decease my dear husband I know he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go stark raving mad looking for the jewelry!"

Categories: Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

When Man Is Smartest

Q: Why is a man at his smartest when he is having sex?
A: Because he's plugged into a woman!

Categories: Sex Jokes , Sexist Jokes (Men vs Women Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man) , Riddles
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous