Relationship Jokes - Woman Criticizes Man

A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?" She said, "I'd love to be ten again." On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park, the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. Everything there was, she had a go. She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Into McDonald's they went, where she was given a Double Big Mac with extra fries and a strawberry shake. Then off to a movie theater, more burgers, popcorn, cola and sweets. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed. Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?" One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually I meant dress size."

Marriage counselor to female client: Maybe your problem is that you've been waking up grumpy every morning.

Client: No, I always let him sleep.

As an easy way to save money, a young couple decided that every time they have sex the husband would put his pocket change into a piggy bank on the nightstand. On Valentine's night, he was unusually athletic and accidentally knocked the piggy bank off the table and it broke into pieces on the floor.

To his surprise, among the masses of coins, there are handfuls of five and ten and even twenty dollar bills. He asks his wife "What's up with all the paper money?", to his wife which replied, "Well, not everyone is as cheap as you are."

Wife #1: Hey, Lynn, tell me this. How did you get your husband from staying out late?
Wife #2: Well, every time he would come home I would simply say, 'Mike, is that you?'
Wife #1: I still don't understand. How did that keep him from staying out?
Wife #2: My husband's name is Andrew.

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?". The other replied, "Yes I am, I married the wrong man."