Relationship Jokes - Man Criticizes Woman

Q: Why did God give man a penis?

A: So we'd have at least one way to shut a woman up!

My wife asked when we were going out. "After a shave," I told her. "You shaved this morning" she said. "Yeah," I replied "I wasn't talking about me"

Q: What does "WIFE" stand for?

A: Washing Ironing Food Entertainment

Storming into his lawyer's office, a Texas oil magnate demanded that divorce proceedings begin at once against his young bride. "What's the problem?" "I want to hit that adultering bitch for breach of contract," snapped the oil man. "I don't know if that will fly," said the lawyer. "I mean your wife isn't a piece of property; you don't own her!" "Damn right," the tycoon rejoined, "but I sure as hell expect exclusive drillin' rights!

Three men discuss the Christmas presents they bought for their wives. The first man says that he bought his wife a vacation home in the Bahamas and one in Jamaica. "That way," he explains, "if she doesn't like one, she can use the other." The second man says he had bought his wife a sports car and a limo for exactly the same reason. The third man says, "I bought my wife a negligee and a vibrator. That way, if she doesn't like the negligee, she can go screw herself."