Improving

Sam arrived home from work early one afternoon only to surprise his wife busily engaged with a midget in bed.  After chasing the rogue away, Sam liberally expressed his dismay to his wayward spouse. "I just don't know what to do with you!" he said, shaking his head.  We've talked about this over and over. We've spent hours with the marriage counselor. I was really starting to believe that I could trust you again.""I know, I know..." acknowledged the wife contritely. "But at least I'm cutting back!"

Forgive or Not?

My wife told me she was coming home at 9 but came back at 5  and caught me with another girl
Should I forgive her for her lie?

Who Do You Think I Am?

A woman was nagging her husband to cut the grass, to which the husband answered, "What do I look like to you? A landscaper?!" Next time the sink was dripping, she asked him again, "Honey, can you fix the faucet?" The husband replied, "What do I look like to you? A Plumber?!" Two days later, a light bulb went out and she begged him again, "Honey, can you change the light bulb?" His reply was, "What am I? An electrician?!" A few days later, the husband comes home from work to find that the lawn is cut, the faucet is fixed, the light bulb is changed. Very surprised, he says, "Honey, what happened here?" The wife replies, "You know our new next door neighbor? He came over and fixed everything." The husband says, "Honey, how did you pay him?!" "Oh, you know," the wife says, "he told me that I could either bake him a cake or have sex with him." Somewhat relieved the husband asks, "Whew, so what kind of a cake did you bake for him?" The wife replies, "Who do you think I am? Betty Crocker?!"