Rabbi Trouble

The Rabbi rose with a red face. "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the K.K.K. This is a horrible lie and one which a Jewish community cannot tolerate! I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and our Jewish community." No one moved. The Rabbi continued, "Do you not have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel relief. Now stand and confess your transgression!" Again all was quiet. Slowly a "drop dead" gorgeous blonde with a body that would not stop rose in the third pew. Her head was bowed, and her voice quivered as she spoke. "Rabbi, there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan, I just told a couple of friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."

Gag Reflex

My dentist reminded me of my wife's sensitive gag reflex. We laughed & laughed. 
Then I remembered that my wife & I have different dentists.

I'll Just Call My Lawyer

As a prank, when the preacher asked at a wedding, "If anyone has good reason why these two should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace." A pregnant lady stood up and said, "Oh, never mind! I'll just call my lawyer!" It rattled the groom's mother so much that she fainted.