Relationship Jokes

The New CIA Agents

Three men are going through CIA training, trying to become secret agents. They finally got through all their written and physical tests when they are pulled aside by one of the instructors who took them to a small room with another room adjacent to it. They brought the first guy's wife into the room and left her there. The instructor then loaded two rounds into a pistol, handed it to the first man saying, "Go kill your wife of five years." The trainee took the weapon, went into the next room. He came back out one minute later and said,
"I can't do it." The instructor replied,
"Then you fail out, so get out." The second candidate's wife was brought to the room. The instructor then loaded two rounds into a pistol, handed it to the second man and said,
"Go kill your wife of ten years." The trainee took the weapon, went into the next room, but returned three minutes later and said,
"I can't do it." The instructor replied,
"Then you fail out - get out." Finally, the third candidate's wife was left in the adjacent room. The instructor loaded two rounds into a pistol, handed it to the third man and said,
"Go kill your wife of fifteen years." The trainee took the weapon, went into the next room where there is silence for one minute. Suddenly, there was the sound of two gunshot, followed by a huge commotion in the room. The third man came out finally, sweating profusely, and said,
"You gave me blanks, so I had to choke her."

Categories: Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Fighting Over a Quarter

A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward he asked her how she liked the game. "I liked it, but I couldn't understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents," she said. "What do you mean?" he asked. "Well, everyone kept yelling, "Get the quarter back!"

Categories: Sports Jokes (American Football Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Blowjob On Heinz

A woman was engaged to get married. She had never had any sexual experience whatsoever. So she asked a couple of her friends what she could do to her husband on their wedding night to really impress him. One of her friends suggested that she give him a blowjob. She asked what a blowjob was, but they were all too embarrassed to tell her. Finally one friend told her to just go home and practice on a ketchup bottle. So she practiced for months. Finally the big night came. They got married, went to the hotel room and she got ready to do her thing. She unzipped his pants, got down on her knees, grabbed his penis in her hand, took a deep breath... and started smacking the tip of it with the palm of her other hand.

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Sex Jokes (Private Parts) , Sex Jokes (Oral Sex Jokes) , Word Play Jokes , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes)
Anonymous